The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
