i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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