Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
