I got chris browned last night
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
