I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
