We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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