Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself