mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)