That's intense
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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