Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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