I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
