I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
