Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
