Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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