My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize