Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
