i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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