it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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