When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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