Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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