I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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