we have pet lesbian snakes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
