But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
