You can't special order awesome
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
