I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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