I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
