Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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