i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
