Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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