So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
