Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
