we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
