yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
