all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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