YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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