One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
