Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize