Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
