i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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