it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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