I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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