dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Its about making memories worth repressing
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
