is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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