You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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