I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
