therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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