i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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