so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
