hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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