You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
