I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
