we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
