What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
