he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
