i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
