I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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