i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
