We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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