Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
