hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Screwed.edu
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
