oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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