I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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