Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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