9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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