I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I die, sorry about rent.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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