We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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