I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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