I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
