My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
