I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Found the puke drawer
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
