Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
