people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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