I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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